So, what is next?

I probably get asked this question weekly: "So, what are you going to do with this degree when you are finished?" or "What's next?"

So...what is next? Honestly, I do not really know. Things change a lot in 5 years. When I originally began this degree in 2002, my intentions and desires were very different. My ministry context had mainly remained in youth ministry, while some of it was (and is now) concentrated in college ministry. I knew that I wanted to get my MDiv so that I could be better equipped to minister and know more, and I am glad I am pursuing it. I just never knew the road it would take me down or that it would take this long. I certainly do not regret it by any means, I am just ready to be done with this stage so that I can move on to the next one.

I have learned a lot (and continue to do so), have met some wonderful people; and have also been shaped, mentored, and learned from the wonderful professors-who are not only my teachers, but have also become my friends. My heart is just not as into it as it was at first. I guess that is because it has taken such a long time, and also because I really feel like I am in the heart of ministry right now. That does not mean that I should not continue to learn, but it has been very difficult to balance the two worlds. I do love the continued journey of learning that I am on, but so often I feel inedaquate in my classes. It is ironic because my desire to get the MDiv was so that I could learn more and be better equipped for ministry, but often I feel like the more I learn the more I don't know!

I know one thing: I have never felt more at peace or known for sure that I was following my calling than I do now. I know I am supposed to be here right now and that God has placed me here to be used, molded, and shaped. I am thankful for that. I have to admit that I have some fears about what the future holds. I know that I should not, but I just do not know what is next. I still have a year left until I graduate and move on, but I need to begin formulating some sort of plan now. I am not even sure if I know what I want to do anymore. I have so many passions that I am not sure which one to pursue. It will feel so good to be done with school, but that has been such a familiarity to me-it will be strange to not have that be part of my life. I honestly love the University campus and think that I would be happy working in that for a long time (not necessarily here, but in general). I would also love to do mission work. I still have a heart for teenagers, but am not sure my place is in a church anymore.

So, who knows? I am trying to place it in God's hands and not be anxious about it...which is easier said than done!! I know that wherever I end up He will use me and I will be blessed.

Let the journey and adventure continue...