Bigger than life

I registered for classes yesterday, and if all things go well I should graduate next May with my Master of Divinity. Oh please pray that it all works out-that would just be amazing and you can bet that I will throw one HUGE party!!!! You are all invited, so plan on it now...

I have done a lot of thinking, praying, discussing, wondering lately...pretty much about everything. As I really do ponder what happens next and where I will go and what I will do next in life, and as people continue to ask me what my plans are next, the only answer I have come up with is...I want everything!! I want to be able to do anything and everything that I put my mind to, that I am passionate about, and that God would bless. I have often felt like the sky is the limit and hate it when people say they cannot do something. I know that we all have our limitations because we are human, but I think we limit ourselves even more than we should, and get bogged down by what the world and those around are saying. Think practical. Be realistic. I despise the words can't and don't. I mean, my number one strength is positivity, for heaven sakes (which I can truly attest came from my mom!).

Sometimes I really do think that I want SO much out of life that I am constantly dissapointed.

That is really hard for me. I really do believe when the Bible says, "Everything is possible with God". He is bigger and can do more through us than we may ever really know. I feel sometimes like my passions, my heart, and everything within me is just screaming to get out and do something more. Yet, somehow I have let people, circumstances and situations get me down and sometimes hold me back. I don't want that to happen anymore-I want God to fully take my whole life and do whatever He wants with it. I would give up everything to serve Him and go anywhere to do that. I want to be His hands and feet to the world. I know we can do that anywhere and I want to do that everywhere.

I don't feel like I am better than anyone else, and I know we all have dreams, desires, passions, etc. I also see many people living those out and sometimes wonder why I am not. There are SO many things that I would like to do and many gifts I know I have that are not being used, or may not be used to their full potential. Nothing, no one should be able to stifle that-life has a way of doing that sometimes, though. I have always been one to easily bounce back from things, and trust me I have done plenty of bouncing back-only by the strength and grace of God. He has only given us one opportunity on this earth and I want to live that life to its fullest potential. I want to squeeze the life out of every moment, embrace every person, every opportunity, and every gift God has given.

I know that sometimes my bigger than life ideas or persona can be misunderstood or can be too strong at the wrong times. I have always felt kind of out place in this life and like I don't fit in one place. I am not sure why that is-sometimes the restlessness can be great and push me towards something, while it can also be frustrating. I know God made me like this though for a reason, so I do not want to ignore it.

I do know this-I serve an awesome and mighty God, and He really IS the God of the possible. I don't know where this great adventure will land next, but I am glad I am on it and looking forward to where it takes me. The future is an open canvas and I pray that God will paint it with beautiful colors and will continue to take me through the mountaintops and the valleys, to the people He loves, and closer to Him in the process.

May you all be blessed as you seek His face~