After 1500 or so miles, we are back in the great state of Texas. I love traveling, but there is something about crossing that TX state line that just makes you feel good!
I got up at 5:00 on Friday morning to get to the airport and hop on the plane, which landed me in LA about 11:00. I then went to the beach for a few hours, watched the surfers and the kids play, took some pictures (it was very hazy so they are not great), and put my feet in the cold water. Then, we loaded up the car and headed out-moving about 2 miles in an hour in good 'ol LA traffic ;) We spent the night in Kingmen, AZ (and by the time my head hit the pillow I had almost been up 24 hours!!), and then made our way to the Grand Canyon the next day. It is a canyon...and it is grand! It really is pretty amazing-I would love to have time to go back and explore more of it-go white water rafting, horseback riding, etc...but it was very vast and beautiful. Then we headed on to Albuquerque, spent the night there and rolled into Lubbock at about 6:00 that evening. I was able to spend some quality time with the Towns' talking and catching up, eating hamburgers from the grill, and swimming-which was awesome and much needed. I really miss them! Then, we got up early Monday morning and headed into Abilene, where I saw the newly reopened and remodeled McDonald home. It looks really nice and will be packed this year. I can't say I am not jealous, because I am-it was my home, my community, my baby-and I felt like my time there was cut drastically short when they decided to close it. Apparantely, numbers are back up this year and people are really wanting to live there. Of course, why would they not?! It is such an awesome place and will always hold a special place in my heart. I am glad it is packed and pray that everyone who lives there can soak up the awesome community that is offered.
Anyway, now I am back home and continuing on the job hunt. I think the career change that I was thinking about may not pan out for this fall, but could for the future. I just need something in the meantime-BADLY.
There have been so much that just seems to be creeping up and thrown in my face lately. It has been really hard to fight the bitter feelings and put them behind me. They just seem to boil up and everything seems amplified-things I would not normally get upset over or just move past are harder. It is almost like being punched in the face where you are already bruised, or pouring salt into a very open, gaping wound. It hurts. A lot. I know I have a God greater than my hurts and my fear, and He has led me this far. He will lead me on, but I admit that I struggle. I feel like I am putting undue stress on my family, and that makes it even worse.
It is more than just the job hunt-much more-which I choose not to get into too much because it is just too personal. I want to lay it at the feet of God, but I am having a hard time trusting. I want to, and I know when I took this leap I trusted, but sometimes it feels like I am on my own...though I know I am not. This journey has been rough, and I just cannot quite see the light yet-though there are holes shining through, I am just not there yet. I don't want this to consume me anymore-I want "me" back. I want God to restore all of me so that I can go be all He has called me to be and more in this world. I just need a little help :)
God, please help me trust in you! I thank you for my many blessings and your everlasting love and faithfulness-help me live in it...
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4 comments:
Glad y'all had a good trip, and it was a safe one. I have never been to Grand Canyon, but that is definitely on my list!
hang in there, you are full of faith and God will take you places! You are in my prayers.
I know you're holding His hand--He'll lead you:)
Have you looked any more in Colorado Springs?
Girl I feel for you. I wish you could wake up tomorrow and everything be fixed, but alas, things don't work that way. I heard some very encouraging words a few days ago about going through trials. The trials we face are all working to bring us to a mature faith. Every challenge and heartache is equipping us for future greatness for Christ's glory. Without these tempering times, none of us would be thoroughly furnished for every good work. Hang in there, because God has something great in store for you.
The road trip sounds like it was such fun. I can't believe you two didn't call me when you got here! I'm excited to have Jen back in Abilene.
I hear your heart. I pray that God will continue to heal your hurts and in doing so you will become the force for good that He intends you to be, girl. You are blazing a trail and that is always the hard part. Those who come after you will be grateful. Hang in there. I'm praying for you.
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